1. Electronic Gadgets The kind of tech that seems like it was exactly what my life needed to keep going, but turned out to be a failure of wizardry implied. I bought a BetaMax once, I think it’s out in the garage behind all those other projects I was going to get to as soon as I spare the time from my modern life.
2. Garage Relics Yeah> go look in yours. That piece of junk I was always going to (fix up, remodel, retool, use for whatever reason), which is just waiting for some other lucky treasure hunter to come relieve me of the burden to deal with it ((hint: bring cash; no refunds)), to the very lucky individual buying this ancient artifact of mine, yours to proudly display in the corner of your Garage while it’s possibilities haunt your hobbiest moments of actual usefulness.
3. End of Time Bunker Stuffers Headlines:” WORLD ENDING FRIDAY”. Oh!, how many times have I fallen for that one ( seems I never learn from listening to the last Doomsman), I mean really, all those batteries, tanks of water, meals ready to go, crates of this and crates of that, Doom Masters please!, all this stuff costs money, way more that I earn in a decade , and it all has expiry dates as well. I really cannot afford your Procrastination any longer, either stop revealing your LSD nightmares or BRING IT ON, I am ready!!!, at least until, hmm, let’s see, ahhh yes, here we go>December 21,2012, the expiration date of everything.
4. Political Pacs During the last campaign that Rep assured me It was a foregone done deal to get all that government owned land in State Name Here, only if I were to enhance his chances to beat out contender What’s His Name. So I volunteered to enhance his campaign with a few thousand helpful Benjamins to help him attain his worthy goal of representing all us constituents of Hoodwinked Masses of State Name Here. Yeah that worked out for him, oh he got the seat all right and a very nice talking to about the ordeal of the aftermath. Me, you ask? Well I have a nice bed in a clean room in a very large building complex with heavily armed Security, it’s in the no rent district. See ya, it’s exercise time.
5. The Bubble please don’t laugh, it could happen to everyone. Which? Well it’s like this, just pick one out of the Get Really Wealthy hat of Your Forever Limitless Suckers, Financial Mountain of Ponzi, Global Countries of Forgiven Debt, Social Security of Dwindling Funds, and that You Really can Afford to Live in That 5 bedroom Mansion even though you only make a benjamin a week Home for the Less Austere Market. No more of that for me, I’m just gonna invest in that highly overblown and promoted Junk Bond’s are for Everyone.